In the nearly 20 years of daily journalism I never had the pleasure of penning a quote as delicious as that which appeared in last week’s Edmonton Journal.
“Grappling with a drunk zebra is not the easiest thing in the world,” John Huget told the publication, referring to brawl he was forced to engage in earlier this year after a “confused and extraordinarily drunk” Marshall Ron Mann, garbed in sunglasses, a baseball cap and full-body zebra costume, wandered into Huget’s home.
Mann had been at a costume party earlier in the evening, then had taken a taxi. He thought he had made his way to a friend’s house, but wound up at a row of duplexes that looked alike.
Huget found the striped intruder in his living room at 1:30 a.m., as Huget’s wife and newborn daughter slept nearby.
According to the Journal, the situation quickly turned violent when Mann refused to depart.
“When I told him he had to leave, he got hostile with me,” Huget said. “He said no.”
The situation quickly deteriorated. Mann threw a drunken punch that glanced off Huget’s face. The pair struggled and Huget eventually forced Mann back outside and onto the lawn while his wife called police.
Once outside, the 24-year-old Mann proceeded to urinate on Huget’s tree. Along the way, Mann dropped his wallet, allowing Huget to call and inform a 911 dispatcher as to the belligerent zebra’s identity.
This didn’t sit well with Mann, who charged Huget, arms swinging.
“He eventually got tired of trying to punch me and started biting me,” Huget, 32, said. “Grappling with a drunk zebra is not the easiest thing in the world.”