On the bright side, no one’s food will spoil …

The new year is off to an exceptional cold start my neck of the woods. As in, bone-rattling frigid.

This morning the thermostat in my car registered a low of 8 degrees Fahrenheit. Not only is that 24 degrees below freezing, but it’s twice as cold as the previous day.

At this rate, two days into 2018, if temperatures continue to drop twice as much day to day, we will reach Absolute Zero, or about minus 460 degrees Fahrenheit, in about a week.

I anticipate this ending poorly for mankind, as crops, oceans and rivers would freeze quickly.

All power sources would stop, and there would be nothing to use for fire. Communications would cease, as well, forcing hipsters to emerge from their smug smartphone-induced trances to see what the ruckus was about.

In short time the Earth’s core would be sealed inside a thick covering of global ice, and all life, or at least that in my whereabouts, would cease to exist.

Of course, this is a worst-case scenario.

Personally, I’m hedging my bets and wagering that it will warm up at some point. Or, if not that, I’m reasonably confident that Absolute Zero is not in the foreseeable future.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like it, though.

Here’s hoping wherever you are, your new year is just a little warmer.

(Top: Representation of how it felt in my neighborhood this morning. Hint: Not warm.)

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9 thoughts on “On the bright side, no one’s food will spoil …

  1. Cold weather is forecast for here tomorrow…with high winds.

    As to the latter, I feel that the Trade Winds feel neglected, having no sailing ships to propel across oceans and take out their spite on the modern world by lifting roofs, etc..

    In respect of the former we can confidently expect to see Peruvian woolly hats with ear flaps, faux fur jacket collars turned up to meet the ear flaps and feet jammed into boots.

    The temperature is forecast to be about 75F, 23C……

    • 75 Fahrenheit? My heart goes out to you. I’m sure you’ve got lots of wood chopped and waiting by the fireplace …

      Yes, the Trade Winds have fallen on hard times of late. If only they had had the sort of PR our elected officials use to polish up their soiled reputations.

  2. It snowed for the first time in this part of South Carolina since 2010. Which, of course, means that everyone lost their minds. I confess, after living in New England for many years, I did miss snow. Until I had to clean 7 inches of snow off my car, with only a small ice scraper. I’m sure the snow will melt before the road crews get to most of it, lol.

    • I, too, spent many years in New England and now live in S.C. I do not miss for one second the bitter cold mornings while trying to chop through an inch of ice on my windshield, or having to rock my car back and forth to get it out of the icy groves in the driveway. A little snow is nice, but as I tell my kids, four months-plus of it is way more than I need.

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