I make no apologies for my disdain for weddings.
It’s hard to respect an event which costs, on average, nearly $28,000, turns (relatively) sane people into selfish boors and generally highlights all the deplorable excesses of society in a single day.
Worse, far too many brides focus months or sometimes years of attention on their wedding day, rather than the fact that, if things go well, this will be the person they’ll be spending their next 50 or so years with, while too many grooms see their wedding as just another opportunity to get their high school or college buddies together for one more booze-fueled festival of inanity.
And there are plenty of companies all too happy to exploit this ever-increasing celebration of the individual, rather than what it’s meant to be: The joining of a couple.
Weddings provide an interesting barometer for just how far off the deep end a sizeable proportion of society has tumbled.
As columnist Alexandra Gekas wrote not too long ago, “I really think a lot of people put more thought into their wedding than into whether or not they are marrying the right person. … They act like finding and catching that man is a victory of some sort and as if getting married is an accomplishment in itself, for which the reward is a big, gaudy party. Newsflash: Getting married is not an accomplishment, staying married is.”
It reminds me of couples who, before, during and after having their first (and often only) child, feel the need to fill the entire world with a steady stream of updates, photos and other mindless commentary.
Giving birth isn’t that big a deal and you’re not the first and only life form of have accomplished the feat of reproduction.
Baboons, for example, do it on a regular basis and you don’t see them flooding family, friends and even strangers with unsolicited highlights on the Simian equivalent of Facebook or Twitter.
At what point did our society decide all trends have to careen toward one extreme or the other? Ginormous weddings. Zero carbon footprint. Complete energy independence. Schools with zero-tolerance policies for medications of any kind (including Advil and aspirin).
When does the trend back toward common sense begin?
Fortunately, I’m at the point where most of the people I know are either married, have indicated they aren’t planning on getting married or aren’t what you might term “marriage material.”
I do have some young’uns that will likely be getting hitched at some point in the future, but with any luck, that’s at least 15 years or more down the road.
I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
In the meantime, perhaps science can make the above image a reality; real-life bridezillas would likely do wonders to put a stop to metaphorical ones.
If nothing else, that’s a wedding I be happy to attend.