This has to be animal abuse on some level

It has been said that we in Western society have at our fingertips access to the most powerful technology ever devised – and that we use it largely for viewing cat photos and getting sports updates.

Well, that’s not 100 percent correct. The same amazing technology that allows some to zip cat pictures to friends and family via email, cell phone or some other hi-tech means can also be used to send embarrassing photos of people and cats, thereby doing society a service by helping identify potential serial killers, the utterly deranged or good old-fashioned oddballs.

The delightfully titled website I Don’t Need Anger Management, You Just Need to Shut Up has compiled an array of photos titled “The Absolute Worst Pictures of Men and Cats.”

After perusing the 18 images that were selected, I can’t say that I disagree with any of the choices.

I would add that it’s readily apparent why some men are unable to find women to marry, or even date.

A couple of caveats: I have nothing against cats. I actually like cats; my family had several while I was growing up and we got along famously.

Not sure what the point was here, but …

… sometimes we all need a laugh. Indeed.

The Second World War – Facebook style

To see the rest, click here.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess this was not put together by the typical Facebook user.

A look at every Simpson’s video game – ever

During the 24 seasons The Simpsons has been on the air, one of its many highlights has been the program’s ability to spoof the video game industry.

Invariably, video and arcade games are shown in a satirical vein, with an abundance of violence, blood or simple inane themes (witness the My Dinner with Andre game).

Now the website College Humor has compiled a brief clip of every video game from The Simpsons.

I’m partial to Billy Graham’s Bible Blaster, which, not surprising to fans of the show, belongs to Rod and Todd Flanders, progeny of ultra-religious Simpson neighbor Ned Flanders.

As Bart plays for Bible Blasters for the first time, Rod can be heard proffering the following advice: “Keep firing, convert the heathens!”

(HT: Slate)

Ich Liebe jemand! Ich Liebe jemand!

Yup, we’re mailing it in today. No history, no cotton, no two-headed snakes. You get what you pay for.

Remembering a great, great president

In honor of Presidents’ Day I’d like to recognize the greatest president in the history of the University of Maine’s Sigma Nu fraternity, Joseph “Pig Iron” McGraw.

Pig Iron, was served as commander of our chapter from 1986 to 1988, could chug a 16-ounce beer in just under three seconds – tops in the tri-state region.

He knocked out his four front teeth when he tried to ski off the top of our three-story fraternity house (above) one sunny February afternoon, and managed over the course of 11 semesters to amass a sparkling 2.46 grade-point average.

Pig Iron once even attempted to fight the entire Sigma Chi fraternity located down the block, but was wisely dissuaded by cooler, less-inebriated heads.

Here’s to you, Pig Iron, in whatever distant northern Maine township you’re holed up in these days.

Update: I’ve been informed that Presidents’ Day it is meant to honor and remember the past presidents of the United States and their contributions to our country.

In that case, here’s to you, John Tyler.

Daughter No. 3: Bible scholar in the making

As anyone with more than one child can tell you, each has a distinct personality, no matter how much they look alike or how close they are in age.

Among my five girls I have a set of twins. The younger twin is much like her father: loves to read, enjoys the outdoors and everything agriculture-related, and likes catching critters. The older twin is much more of a “girl-girl,” big on hanging out with friends, keeping up with what’s cool and is easily embarrassed by dad’s antics.

Two other big differences between her and me: she has yet to “inherit” my love of history, and she has a gift for gab of which I could only dream. Those two characteristics were in evidence earlier this week.

While driving my four younger girls (ages 12, 11, 11 and 9) to their other house recently, I employed a David-and-Goliath metaphor to describe a situation, to which Daughter No. 3, the older twin, responded, “What does that mean?” I said, “You’re familiar with David and Goliath, right?” She said she was.

Knowing this one pretty well, I pressed her. “Okay, tell me something about David and Goliath.”

“Uh, one of them killed the other.”

“Which one killed the other?” I asked.

“Goliath?”

“Goliath what?”

“Goliath killed David?” she offered.

I tilted the rearview mirror down so I could look at her. She had a sheepish grin. “Are you telling me that after eight years of religious education you don’t know the story of David and Goliath?”

Hydrophobia: when will the madness end?

Don’t let it be said that this blog doesn’t care about you, the reader.

Lest one think Michael Scott exaggerates the problem of wild, and presumably rabid, canines wreaking havoc on America, remember the portentous words of Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr.:

“Today, we want to talk about something serious: packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities in North America.”

No man is prophet in his own land, yet these two NASCAR greats willingly offered this prescient advice:

“If you see a stray dog, don’t call the authorities; approach it on your own, with a rope or a broomstick.”

Wise words, indeed.

(This post hereby fulfills the community service requirement so ordered on 30 November 2012 by the Royal Court of the Isle of Guernsey.)

Bikers, bulldozers and puppies: It’s all good

Occasionally one comes across a news report that cries out for additional information. Given that journalism has been called the “first draft of history,” it’s not surprising that reporters aren’t able to always get complete answers to every question that arises.

Sometimes, though, one has to wonder if an article’s author is an actual living human being, or simply an automaton devoid of curiosity and an awareness of the surreal.

Take this story from the BBC:

A German student “mooned” a group of Hell’s Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

The man drove up to a Hell’s Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy.

He dropped his shorts and threw the dog, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site.

Teacher arrested, readers confused

Schools have been known for giving out awards for just about everything, with the idea being that if no one is left out, no one’s feelings will be hurt. You know, just like in the real world.

However, at least one South Carolina high school would appear to really be reaching with its latest accolade.

Kinsley Wentzky, 34, a high school English teacher at Columbia’s Dreher High School, was arrested Friday on a charge of sexual battery with a “student 16 or 17 years of age with no aggravated force or coercion,” according to the Columbia Police Department.

That means the relationship between the female teacher and unidentified student did not involve physical violence, such as rape. Wentzky has admitted to having sex with the student in a statement, according to the arrest warrant.

So how does the headline in the Columbia newspaper, called The State, read regarding the incident: “Dreher High School honors teacher charged with sexual battery.”

Now lest one come away with the misguided assumption that the school in question is actually lauding said teacher for being charged with sexual battery, it should be noted that the instructor is an English honors teacher.